The Thread

by Wendy Behn

So you are moving overseas and becoming an ex-patriate - that’s great! Many interesting and fun adventures await your arrival in your new home. However, if you are worried about not knowing a soul in your new country, here are some ideas for making new friends that you may not have considered.

Jerry Seinfeld has a bit in his stand-up act where he talks about how much easier it was to make friends when you were a little kid. You stood in the milk line at school and turned to the kid behind you and asked, “Wanna be friends?” “Okay.” As an adult, it’s not quite that simple - especially when you have moved to a new nation that may seem foreign and, sometimes, shocking to you. That’s why it is advisable to do some homework before you leave.

What the Blog Do You Know?If you have not yet left for your new home, use your favorite search engine to look for blogs relating to your new country. Many students and expats publish blogs about their home/new countries in order to keep up-to-date with friends and family. In fact, ex-pat blogs can help you find better ways to prepare, move, and acclimate yourself in this (probably nerve-wracking) time of transition. You may even find you want to begin your own blog to document your personal experiences. A few free blog sites are www.blogger.com and www.wordpress.com, so start your own blog there.

If you’re merely searching for information on a country, consider posting a question to the blogger directly on the blog site. Most bloggers are more than happy to help field questions that may benefit visitors to their home country.

Get Into a Group Online
Do some online networking! There are plenty of sites that have ‘groups’ or ‘chatrooms’ pertaining to your new country. For instance, Yahoo! has Yahoo! Groups that you can join for free (or start for free) on any subject in the universe. Simply search by country. By joining a group or discussion forum, you can ask questions, get answers or allay any fears you may have about your upcoming move by talking with people in the know.

“Okay. So, I’m here. Now what?”
Once you get to your new country you must be willing to be brave in your search for new friends. Obviously, at the moment, there are certain countries where random exploration may not be advisable, but you will have done your online research beforehand and know where a big smile and a handshake is NOT going to make you new friends. It’s best to start off safe and get in touch with your Embassy in your new home and ask them if they have a calendar of events. Since most ex-pats have to register with their embassy in their new country at some point in their move anyway, they may have already offered you an event list. It is good to have.

The embassy usually has fun stuff planned to make ex-pats feel more at home. I’ve been to chili cook-offs and 4th of July celebrations at U.S. embassies overseas, and it’s a great way to meet people. At times, they may not have anything planned, but you won’t know until you ask. Either way, peruse the local papers or bulletin boards for upcoming events that strike your fancy – and attend! Don’t be nervous, just be willing to try new things.

Events that you may not have thought of yet:
Buffet Dinners:
In Bahrain and Dubai, the Thai embassy held buffet dinners once a week where the food was divine and the company was great for a laugh. The hall was filled with Texans, Brits, Aussies and Kiwis for the most part. English was the predominant language (for the most part) and it was a great way to meet new people and enjoy foreign fare. [Don’t forget: most of the time, other ex-pats are as eager to meet new people as you are.]

Sports:
By joining netball and tennis leagues early on, I met a lot of people who were great fun and had similar interests. My husband joined the local golf club, and met not only friends there, but plenty of business contacts and other sporting contacts too. He ended up playing rugby for the first time and getting invites to soccer and softball leagues. Sailing and skiing clubs are also great ways to meet like-minded people.

Classes:
Many foreign countries have continuing education classes in languages, cooking, crafts, etc., so again, check the newspapers and schools. A language class would not only help you communicate better with the locals, but learning a new language has been proven to increase your overall intelligence, memory and mental acuity. Bonus!

Learning how to prepare dishes of the local tradition will help with your communications skills at markets and restaurants. For example, you should at least learn how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in your new country’s language – or even ‘salt’ and ‘pepper.’ Joining cooking classes may also be a great way to convince a not-yet-friend or neighbor to venture out with you to learn new dishes. It’s a great excuse to knock on someone’s door and offer an invitation.

Many times a specialty food store or market will have weekend seminars or speakers. So go! Slap on that smile and take a little time out to get to know your new home. In any kind of class, you can meet people who could become your new BFFs.

Perhaps the best thing about taking classes as a grown-up is that there may just be a milk line somewhere out there for us after all. You’ll never know until you try! Have fun!

An few links to get you started:
http://www.embassyworld.com/embassy/directory.htm
Google Blog Search

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